From the Babylon Times

Vatican City-Saturday

IN AN UNEXPECTED MOVE, Pope Francis this morning announced that late boxer Muhammad Ali is to replacer Jesus Christ in the Holy Trinity.

Addressing a crowd in St Peter’s Square, Rome, the pontiff told the assembled masses: “Many of you may have thought Mr Ali was merely a well-known pugilist who knocked out a few people and said a few moderately amusing things.

“However it is clear from the outpouring of worldwide grief and adoration since his sad demise that he was so much more than that — namely a global leader, prophet, healer, astronaut, brain surgeon, dietary expert and all-round presiding genius.”

He went on: “In view of this, I have no alternative but to announce that Muhammad Ali is to replace Jesus Christ in the Holy Trinity.”

Departing from his prepared text, Pope Francis speculated: “It may well be that the other two members of the trinity would welcome a new colleague.”

And he concluded: “The  idea that when people cease to worship the true God, they put any old thing or person in His place — be that the Beatles, Muhammad Ali, David Bowie, Prince or indeed Donald Trump — is so last century, darlings.”

“Get with the groove, sweethearts,” he added, before spitting out the remains of a gluten-free tofu veggie burger.

Advertisements